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A horse with no name ...Always on the go, ready to hoof along ...
But you my Jockey, ride me like a madman!
There are countless times
Where I myself thought, - hey we are doing just fine
When then you take a turn,
And throw a wobbler for no real reason
How am I going to carry on?
Knowing I can never satisfy your high standards.
I'd die for you,
I'd carry you for as long as my four legs were strong enough.
Yet you treat me with so little respect,
That maybe a trip in a dank wet lorry to the unspeakable place
Has become more and more inviting ..
Merry bloody Christmas
Wherever you are
Whoever you are
Yah Christmas is great
That is if you have money in the bank
A roof over your head and 2.1 children
A dog and a cat
And 2.1 cars preferably 4x4's
Cosily parked on the drive
Keep up with the Joneses
Our turkey has got to be the biggest
Most vulgar and horrid thing
You ever saw on a dinner table
Fuck the turkey
(Ooh I forgot he is already stuffed )
Mother is running around like a headless chicken
(I thought we were having turkey???)
In and out of the kitchen
Whilst father is busy looking
So very important having a tipple or three
To steady his hands
Ready to carve that genetically
Engineered thing called a Turkey
Oh my just look at those
Real fart instigators .
All the trimmings such as
Sausages wrapped in bacon
The obligatory cranberry sauce
Stupid silly hats and crackers filled with
Tat and desperate jokes
As all sit down to eat
Mother is knackered
After weeks of planning
Crazy at 05.13A roaring storm outside
Stirring how I feel inside
The bellowing sound
Of the howling wind
The rattle of this old house
Pretty much sums up
How I feel
Tormented and battered
Though still fit and able
But for what?
I am wondering
Where do I go from here?
There is emptiness
A void that won't fill
Maybe I am asking too much?
Maybe I should just close my eyes
And think of Queen and Country
Oh sod this
I have a life to live
And I need to live now.....
Premonition?A strange feeling
is fighting with
all things logical ...
It shouldn't be
It's like a
of something bad
just about to unfold
Like the threatening
clouds in the sky
no rest or redemption
just the cool calculated facts
that the shit is hitting the fan.....
The visitTo night you visited me
It was amazing
Only for a brief while though
A stolen moment
of untold warmth
Filled with love longing
It was over only too fast
I weep in silence as I feel
You were here right enough
But it was in my dreams.....
30+ years ...Like a little white dove
fragile gracious and shy
What change I saw
A tenderness and
passion embraced in a
A friend from times gone by
Awakened like the bird Phoenix .....
Youth revisited.....Going down memory lane
You took me back years
to another time
Where life mostly was great
uncomplicated and simple
To a time where laughter was
on the menu every day
We would skip along the pavements
You'd carry my bag
and I felt special
We shared so many secrets
Shared so many dreams
shared so many thoughts
You were my special buddy
My bestes mate
Now years later, we met again
and just like all those years ago
we picked up where we had left
older maybe wiser, and still the same
on the inside, though our shells had changed
What delight and pleasure it was
to finally meet you again
To share afresh a joke
To see you so happy and strong
To rediscover our childhood fun .....
Left foot co-pilotHello!!!
Left foot co-pilot calling Kirsten
Are you receiving?
Today I thought we should try
A few loop the loops
What do you think Kirsten?
Okay you are not talking to me are you?
Sod it, I shall just have to
Give it some welly
Wooohooo here we go
Up up and away
What's up ol' girl
Don't you like it?
I thought it's a lot more
fun when I take charge
And since you don't want to participate
I shall just do it my way
It seems to me, that I hold the upper hand
Oooops I really put my foot in this time ...
Over and out from left foot co-pilot ..
When Home Becomes a Prison (Strength)When your pillow is no longer the fresh place to lay your emaciated spirit
But is now the chain on the ball that is your bed.
When a door is no longer the entrance to a retreat from the world
But a metaphorical lock keeping you ensconced, never stepping foot out into it.
When windows suddenly become looking glasses that never break,
Just heckle you with what you're missing in their transparent prisons.
A token of what you used to be in the faces of the people walking passed.
The people who pay no note to you;
Who have no inclination of what they are; the symbols of your long-ago life.
The sharp splinters of nostalgia that just glimpsing upon their face sends into your heart.
Every time they walk their dog,
You grimace because you cannot walk long enough to do the same for yours.
Constant reminders in everything everyone does in everywhere you go
of the things you are losing without control.
You clutch and grasp while slipping into sliding as you clasp onto what is left o
Dear JamesI placed a candle on the water for you today. It flickered and floated and gathered with candles of other losses; fathers, friends – whoever. It was as hard as letting you go; if that candle drifted away from me then would I lose you again? When they scooped the candle from the water and your flame went out who would remember that I honoured you? So I took your candle from the water and placed it into my bag. Not because I can’t let you go but because I want to remember. I will light that candle to remember you on special days.
James darling, I missed you more today than any other. I know I will miss you more again at Christmas, on your birthday and on the day you died. You are an angel but you are still with me – in the heart covered by the tattoo of your name. The ink came from within, seeping up through my skin and not down.
I am grateful for the two sonograms I have of you, yet part of me yearns to know what your face would have looked like. Would you have his thi
SaturdaysBrought into this world on a rainy Saturday morning
No memories of the years that follow
Until the pain
Eyes of a beast
Tears of a child
Walls subconsciously building to keep the child safe
But are the walls for safety or containment
Blood and bone breaking
Screaming into the night
Hidden Language"Is he ok?"
Is he alive?
"Is he alright?"
Is he breathing?
"Is he sleeping?"
Is he dead...?
12-12-98... I hate this date.
I loathe it.
Words cannot explain.
But I'll try my best any way.
Try as I might, this memory will never go away.
I've cried; tried to drown my tears until there was no more left. I ate. I starved. I ran. I slept.
Nothing could make me forget that terrible date. 12-12-98.
You may think it's something like, "Oh, maybe her parents said they had to work on Christmas. Jeez. It happens." Yeah, that's what most people say to me when I say I hate this date. It's different though. I lost someone important to me. My father.
I've never heard him speak. To say my name. To yell at me when I've done something bad.
I never got the chance to call him Dad. Nor will I ever.
I will never embrace him, just as my half-siblings do to their father. I guess they've been deprived too, but they'll see him again. But I've never seen my dad. All I have is a collection of pictures and stories from relatives. My mom gave me a small box filled with notes they used to pass back and forth d
DreamsDreams are merely dreams...but sometimes they reflect your deepest desires, don't they?
He stole my breath away.
He was a stunning being, a mix of a man that I could not easily describe to you. With ebony-black hair and stormy gray eyes, he captured my heart in an instant. At times he would tower over me, lovingly, his presence nearing mine, and I could feel the warmth from his body.
"Sometimes I wish I could just steal a smile from you," he murmured easily. "Write you a love poem. Give you roses. I want to love you like love from the past."
I blinked, and smiled slightly back at his beautiful face. "Why the past?"
He shrugged, then he stared at me defiantly, with the Mexican pride I knew so well. "Love from even a generation ago, it was different. An innocent love, a subtle, tender thing that was cultured from a simple fire. And it grew into a tremendous passion, showing a respect of sorts. I want to show you that I love you, not just tell you. I want to appreciate you, respect you
Only one winner...Sprawled out on the floor
Her long hair tangled
She lets a single tear drop flow
And its happenings
She has lots
It has come at a price
Just like that of a trophy wife
Waiting wanting and longing
She gave what she could
Only to receive tiny morsels
Waiting wanting and longing
Grateful for every little kindness
Eager to please
To make you love her
Waiting wanting and longing
As she is not in a position
To ask for your love
She permit herself to slide into a
Where you will see her
In the meantime
Waiting wanting and longing
Though in the real world
Yours and mine
a game and
There can only
be one winner
The Beast within
Waiting wanting and longing .
Crown of ThornsShe wakes up with red staining her pillow
and the taste of blood like iron in her mouth
It stains her teeth and leaks from her lips, and as she
rinses her mouth out, she can’t help thinking that
it’s better than dirt and ashes
it feels like she’s wearing a noose
of broken promises and shattered glass
that tightens around her throat with every day that passes
She nails a smile to her face
and doesn't let herself think the word dying
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More